On Saturday, 6/28/08, the Hawaii Fatherhood Conference featured host, Scot Cunningam of the National Fatherhood Initiative (www.fatherhood.org) at the Pacific Club near downtown Honolulu.
Cunningham, a dynamic speaker, pursued the balance of work and family through his first lecture in which he engaged fathers and fatherhood supporters to contribute to the information presented.
First and foremost, the NFI’s mission is “to improve the well-being of children.” Cunningham’s formula for fathers is simple and three-fold. A father must be involved, responsible, and committed. He said that where a parent exhibits only two of these characteristics, he or she is not taking full advantage of the opportunity to engage your children to have a full and fulfilling lifetime with them.
While acknowledging that both Moms and Dads struggle to make work and family balance, the key difference is that Dads don’t talk about it. Yet, just because we don’t talk, doesn’t mean we don’t want it.
In the 2006 survey “When work Works” by the Families and Work Institute, 55% of employees felt that they don’t have enough time for themselves, but 67% of employees said they don’t have enough time for their children. I have to agree with the statistics.
Denied visitation with my own kids, I do the best I can with my girlfriend’s kids. I am personally aware of the deep grief knowing my kids are growing without me, yet, I have this wonderful opportunity to do right. I have made it my own personal commitment to give my work and the kids a certain percentage of my time.
I thrive because I am focused, not just on my job, but on my job and my long-term relationships with people whom I care about and who, I know, care about me. And that is exactly Cunningham’s point. Working fathers are good leaders and have more career success.
Cunningham went on to discuss working models and family engagement techniques, much of which is available on the NFI web site at www.fatherhood.org.
Honolulu could use a lot more engaging and dynamic speakers like this dedicated father. None of us are perfect, but we need to strive to be our very best, every day of our lives.
Thank you for your inspirational talk Scot!
Visit my web site to find out what more responsibilities and rewards we have as parents, www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com. Click on the Children’s Rights link for more information.
July 2, 2008 at 4:06 am |
There is a fundamental shift in fathers today. The boomer Dads are becoming Boomer granfathers, and the younger Gen-X are now becoming the thirty-something fathers. With this new style of fatherhood comes some shifting ideas on how to rasie children as well as their role in the home. More and more Men that I spoken to in this situation are working hard to balance the life and time around the entire fanily. I agree that many men may not talk about their willingness; however, as more men just do it, this will become the “social norn” of our time. Check out http://www.HappyManOnline.com and see the upcoming book Happy Man, Happy Father.