The Honolulu Advertiser reports on another murder-suicide on July 2, 2008, “Man’s body hanging; woman and child beaten to death.” In this instance there was no gun. Instead, the wife and child suffered “blunt trauma” and the husband hanging, all were found inside the home.
The neighborhood was a quiet one. The neighbors recalled the family on good terms. So, it’s not likely that we’re talking about a long-term domestic violence situation. This situation is better explained by the unbreakable marriage vow and the winner-take-all sole-custody divorce system.
In our culture, a man and a woman enter into marriage upon the oath, “till death do us part.” But, feminists and misandrists assert multiple arguments like, “You’ll be better off without him,” “You can do better than this low-life,” “You get shelter, food-stamps, and free divorce counseling if you testify against him,” “If you get him to hit you, you can get a temporary restraining order and keep him away from you and your child.”
For a religious man taking his oath seriously, a woman threatening divorce is a woman courting the literal meaning of her own oath. For a not-so-religious man, there are only so many ways to keep one’s sanity when faced with a woman determined to obtain a divorce.
I can’t speak for this unfortunate family. But I have been on the receiving end berated and minimized night after night. Even though my ex-wife had domestic violence training, or perhaps because of it, she was skilled at escalating arguments, needling my weaknesses, scoffing at my strengths, and threatening to end the marriage. There was no placating that woman. Except for one unfortunate lapse of judgment, the most I ever did was raise my voice and disagree with her. But, I could see where other men would not have been so patient.
Thus, it is my theory that in this family as in other recent murder-suicides in Hawaii, that it was the woman who initiated the argument that led to such a tragic end. While nothing can excuse the results—and for murder, there is never an excuse—it seems that the man took responsibility for his actions and spared us from knowing the horrible truth behind it all.
My condolences to the family. I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive them. Perhaps we can forgive ourselves for not understanding the senselessness that brought a nine-year old child to his life’s end.
Find out more about how to help change the laws that cause conflict in marriage. Visit my web site at www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com.
