Women Hurting Women and Themselves

On May 10, 2009, the New York Times published an article titled “Backlash: Women Bullying Women at Work,” by Katherine Streeter. “During this downturn, as stress levels rise, workplace researchers say, bullies are likely to sharpen their elbows and ratchet up their attacks.”

As much as the article talks about bullies who yell, scheme, and sabotage, the article also sheds light on self-destructive, female against female behavior in the workplace. What the article fails to do is make the connection that what happens at work happens at home, too; not just female against female, but family member against family member.

The article cites a survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute that “a good 40 percent of bullies are women,” and “women appear to prefer their own kind, choosing other women as targets more than 70 percent of the time.”

“Ask women about run-ins with other women at work and some will point out that people of both sexes can misbehave. Others will nod in instant recognition and recount examples of how women – more so than men – have mistreated them.”

As with the quote above, the first response of most women is denial. “Both sexes can misbehave.” But is that really the point? I think not.

The point is that women have unlimited boundaries when attacking others. Our society has failed to understand and deal with the destructive and hurtful behavior of women.

Men are taught fair play at an early age. Men know what a crime is because modern jurisprudence is based upon the transgressions of men against men. The laws on our books for stealing, assault, trespassing, etc, actually give men an advantage because we know that these things are not fair play.

The article is enlightening because it gives one hope that women–at least some women–are beginning to come to terms with predominantly female behavior that is just as destructive as crimes against society that are recognized by the law. Emotionally and physically, the effects of bullying are not that different than assault and battery.

A Wayne State University questionnaire helps identify the range of behaviors that constitute bullying. In addition to “verbal or psychological forms of aggressive behavior that persists for six months or longer,” the university questionnaire includes typical female behavior questions such as: “Over the last 12 months, have you regularly: been glared at in a hostile manner, been given the silent treatment, been treated in a rude or disrespectful manner, or had others fail to deny false rumors about you?“

“The Workplace Bullying Institute says that 37 percent of workers have been bullied. Yet many employers ignore the problem, which hits the bottom line in turnover, health care and productivity costs, the institute says. Litigation is rare, the institute says, because there is no directly applicable law to cite and the costs are high.”

But perhaps the most glaring omission of the article is that it does not recognize how women will bring this same type of bullying into the home, in relationships, even at church, and especially in divorce and custody disputes.

In divorce, the man and the children take the full brunt of the bullying. Women are quite well aware that every man has his limits and many women use bullying to push men beyond. Women get custody in about 85% of contested cases across the U.S. and have no incentive to play fair.

Whether a woman wants a coworker’s job or wants to shut out a father from his children’s life, all she has to do is make false allegations. The more allegations she makes, the more likely one will stick. And when the allegations include violence, women are able to tap into the vast resources of the biggest bullying organization since the Mafia; the Domestic Violence Advocate INDUSTRY.

I call Domestic Violence Advocacy an industry because it commands multiple billions of dollars every year. Lawyers, judges and mental health workers from every state depend on the cash flow for their bread and butter. The loosely knit, interdependent players rely on the fear of a woman or–God forbid–a child being hurt. They have the full confidence of State and Federal Governments, the police, family courts, child protection services, and child support agencies that can garnish a man’s pay for more than he makes.

Ardent feminists will help take down any man who stands in their way. Then, they will claim a triumph for another victim of patriarchal oppression. The machine of matriarchal bullying assumes a halo of goodness and leaves the corpses of shattered lives in its path; the perfect angel of death for our modern world.

When women cross each other, the flames do fly. Just look at my article from May 5, 2009, “STATE SPONSORED CHILD ABDUCTION REVEALED.” The document that details an illegal interstate kidnapping comes from the hands of an angry woman trying to take down her boss in the Domestic Violence Advocacy Industry.

The very same woman has consistently denied visitation between her children and their father for over ten years. As a “not quite a social worker,” I wonder how many people have suffered from her attempts to help domestic violence “victims.”

That woman is my ex and my ex is a bully. She is typical of–not only the bullies described in the New York Times article–but of intelligent, powerful, and angry women who are not afraid to use every tool in their arsenal against people who are close to her.

Another example can be found in the Honolulu Advertiser article published on May 4, 2009, “Woman who allegedly ran over officer also chased boyfriend” and here.

After pursuing her boyfriend in her Chevy Pickup–with a clear intent to make road pizza–Norina Rzonca, 33, gunned the engine and tried to run him down again, this time hitting Officer Ming Wang, while ignoring the Officer’s commands–over the patrol car’s loudspeakers–to stop, pull over and get out of the car.

The thread is plain to see. Women have special privileges in our society that they often abuse. The targets of their abuse are often the people around them. Yet, they get away with this abuse often enough that it has become a crime against society. We can be sure Norina will get off with a slap on the wrist.

No one wants to convict a weeping woman, an emotional woman, a woman with a child, a woman with the potential to bear children, or a woman willing to smile. But the truth is, these women are costing our society a great deal in time, money, broken homes, broken families, broken workplaces, and broken dreams.

For my children, the memory of a loving and caring father will always be distant.

My ex has been on the rampage for over 10 years claiming that she is the victim of domestic violence and the truth does not fall far from her claim. She is the cause of our domestic violence. She has victimized herself, her entire family, and she has hurt our children far more than she will ever acknowledge.

And she is not content to stop. Her abusive behaviors, like the abusive behaviors of bullies, will continue far beyond the family we once had.

Bullies need to be recognized for what they are. They need treatment. They need to be helped to stop hurting other people.

To find out more about bullies and the women who destroy families, visit my web site at http://mywiferandoffwithourkids.com.