Read this introductory article from the New York Times, “Build Up Your Phone’s Defenses Against Hackers” by Kate Murphy in their Personal Tech Department.

So, when one hard-working Dad encourages his kids to keep going to school despite being pushed over the edge, it tells a story for the rest of us. This family’s desperate situation came to light only because their daughter, Samantha Garvey, was a semi-finalist in the Intel Science Talent Search. No doubt she’s smart. But, Samantha’s got something else going for her; a family.

As Rebecca Dube of MSNBC writes up the story on TodayMOMS, Samantha’s blessing is a Dad who doesn’t give up hope even after falling on hard times.

The story was a tear-jerker from the initial headlines a week ago that said Samantha was an Intel semifinalist and homeless. When you find out her Mom was disabled, they got kicked out of their home, their dog was taken to the pound and the Dad works 100 hours a week and finds time to help them stick together as a family with encouraging words and hope for a better future; it gets personal.

“Never Give Up.” A homeless Dad’s message of hope is a message that rings true for so many of us in so many ways.

If I could, I would say the same to my kids.

Vikki Stark, family therapist, is conducting a study of the impact on children of how they learned about their parents’ divorce. She is a researcher who is studying the effect of the moment of revelation on children when they learn that their parents are getting divorced. Vikki is looking for participants who would be willing to fill out a questionnaire for her online study.

Vikki wants you to answer a few questions on the topic “How you found out about your parents’ divorce. If you are an adult who was a child/teen when your parents got divorced or are currently a child/teen of divorce – help kids in the future through your participation!”

Vikki has set up a survey questionaire suitable for kids ages 4 to 17 with parental consent or adults who were kids when their parents divorced, to study and analyse the moment of revelation at which parents inform their kids that they are getting divorced.

“The experience of telling your story will help you too.” Read more about it in her Psychology Today article here.

What is the “other side”? To answer; The well-funded, anti-father industry. An outgrowth of the anti-domestic violence industry which is heavily biased in favor of women’s victimization and which allows a woman the right of “innocent until proven guilty” but denies the very same right to men. There is a fractal effect upon society that twists the budding sprig of a child’s emotions into a heavily armored offensive weapon. Our children will bring the anti-dad legacy into the future and it will split into two camps with ever diverging thoughts; 1) that Dads are useless and 2) that children need both parents.

Separation and divorce is one of the most understudied, overwhelming, and detrimental cancers on our children in our time. Yet, the phenomena is treated as a bastard child of social irrelevance. The ease with which a mother may terminate a father’s love leads a child to believe that extinction of a parent is much easier than cutting down an old-growth forest or paving over a wetland. In fact, it is just as easy as ordering a happy meal at a drive-thru judicial proceeding.

It is easier (and more financially lucrative) to separate a father from his children than a mother. Guilty without recourse; father’s are being cut out of their children’s lives and being held liable for the damage to society by their absence; an exponential whammy, exploited by the anti-domestic violence industry, yet, defeating their purpose and enabling the exploitation and abuse the industry creates.

But hardworking Dads are not the type to give up easily. When our children are shorted, physically, emotionally, and spiritually from their other parent, we are the first to speak out and point to the injustice in the system as well as the damage occurring to our kids.

Our kids deserve better. The next time you hear about domestic violence, understand that men and women are equally likely to start or finish the incident. When we acknowledge this little bit, we can begin to work on the problem.

Dads (and moms) are icons to preserve in a child’s mind and psyche for their lifetime, for their livelihood, for our future.

The interesting thing to note about this divorced couple is the ability of each to accept their responsibility for what happened in their past. Allison Morrelli discussing her alcohol abuse in the article recounts, “I’ve done my own damage, but I’ve owned it, and I’m trying to be a better person for my kids.”

Anthony, describing his own experiences with the divorce, notes “We have been through 3 custody evaluations, 6 false contempt petitions, 3 custody schedules, 1 psych evaluation, 1 false child abuse allegation, 2 false calls to the local sheriff’s office, 4 years of parental alienation, $80,000, 1 break in, 1 case of stalking, 1 restraining order, and we FINALLY have 50/50 custody of their children.”

ThePsychoExWife web page is gone, by court order, but is now replaced by something more important. The right of every individual to decide for themselves what is in the best interests of their children. Morelli’s new web site Save ThePsychoExWife.com website advocates for free speech in an age where family court judges are making far too many errors on behalf of the “best interests of the children.”

In an age when our family courts can permanently deny visitation between a father and his children based on false allegations, there is a lot at stake for the future of our children. When one parent can deny the love and care of another parent, it is child abuse and it should be recognized as such. No court should have the power to deny visitation based upon demands dictated by only one parent. No court should be above the needs of the family to be reunited.

No court should be able to curb or deny the power of free speech to correct abuses in the court system that was designed to protect, but now is–everyday–destroying the lives of families across the country.

Visit Save ThePsychoExWife.com website to make a difference. Speak out for free speech. Speak out against the anti-family agenda of people who would tear our country apart, family by family.

A thought offered today for my K&K.

Chris and Kenneth Bray, STS1 to STS135

This is the meaning, the chord of nostalgia, the music of the history, between a father and his son or daughter. There is nothing more important in a child’s life than maintaining a relationship with both parents.

For those of us who have been cut off because of divorce, separation, and unrequited animosity, the 30 year photographs are usually ones of bittersweet reunion. With all that time in-between lost to history without even a song.

Chris and his Dad are among the lucky ones who got to spend a lifetime sharing their love of the space program. “The moment has stayed with me since that day, and is one of my fondest memories and childhood experiences.”

Though my kids are nearly grown, it is never too late to hope that they will hear, within themselves, the truth about their Dad. Then, maybe, I’ll get a phone call and we can snap another photo.

Once upon a time, I remember being on the Capitol Lawn, with the Washington Monument pointing to each and every burst of bombs in air, giving proof through the night that my family was still there. My daughter’s broad stripes, and her bright smile, gave no hint of a perilous flight, gave no hint of an injurious fight that would take away their freedoms to know their Dad.

In July 2001, I walked those lawns once more. The red glare was less bright. O’er the ramparts I watched; there was no gallant feeling. Only unending dreaming, the time and space of an abduction that had torn our children, as never before, from the love and care of their Father.

Never has there been a dawn’s early light to compare with my children’s last gleaming. Never has there been more proof through the night that their Father is still there, gallantly streaming his love.

Oh say can you see, that our star-spangled banner does yet wave. And, though I see fireworks at times, I see that my children, no more, live in the land of the free and, no more, know the home of the brave.

To those who would stand against the stars and the stripes and those who would feign to sing the Star Spangled Banner, the family is the soul of our democratic-republic. It is bigger, older, more just and more poetic than selfishness or pride. It is constitutional and a right and a privilege to join family, to be with loved ones, and to love the ones who love you.

Stand Up JOE, I wanna get closer!

With over half the nation divorced and so many friends I know with multiple families, it almost seems like being a Dad to your own kid is a Grace. Yes. I’m talking about the capital “G”–”Grace”; that power of heaven bestowed upon us humans that fills us with forgiveness for all the things our lives have lacked. Because a Father wants most to give the best to his own.

When even the presence of my own children is denied–by any contact, by any means–hope springs in my heart that they know who I am. They know that I love them; that I would be there at the first call. They know they are biologically tied and they have a choice–in their lifetime–to say–whenever they want–”I want my Dad in my life.” As long as I breath, I will be here to answer.

And these kids who return my smile today–they’re smart–they know they hold a place for a time in the future when my own kids will step in. If we should all meet again, I would, indeed, call it a Holiday.