Archive for June 20th, 2008

Criminals and Dads

June 20, 2008

I often read Glenn Sacks column to find out what is happening to non-custodial fathers around the country and around the world. I find myself frequently commenting on his website, and often am so incensed about topics that I look up the original article and write to the reporter and their editor.

In that spirit, I would like to acknowledge Glenn for his inspiration by repeating some of my  responses in my own blog. The following email was sent to Judith Lucas of the Union County, New Jersey, Star Ledger.

Dear Ms. Lucas,

Regarding your article, “State roundup results in 1600 arrests,” of Tuesday, June 17, 2008. It seems you may have missed correlating some important facts. 1020 of these people were behind on child support. Over 60 percent of the arrests were of fathers trying to make good on child support who were probably working at their jobs or at home with their children when they were arrested.

These people have committed no crime and normally would have constitutional rights that protect against the threat of debtors prison, except when child support is involved.

You further failed to address the absurdity of this invasive government action into innocent people’s lives by noting that in your own county, 42 arrests were made all of whom had to come up with cash or face jail time. A total of $4,413 was collected. Did you realize that is a little more than $100 per person arrested?

How many of these fathers were handcuffed in front of their children? How many will lose their jobs because they were arrested? What kind of justice is it when the government tears apart families like this?

People once succumbed to the fear tactics of McCarthyism and that period in our history is still considered the darkest for human rights and freedom. But, that period pales in comparison to what is happening to non-custodial parents today.

The bias you show in your article is only one necrotic symptom of the disease. When you destroy the family, you destroy democracy. Please reconsider the glowing light in which you have cast this despicable government action.

Thank you.


Husband Jailed Over Allegation

June 20, 2008

A 23 year-old woman reported to Police that her husband had accused her of having an extramarital affair and hit her on the legs with “a pipe.” Police noted minor injuries and they promptly arrested her 25 year-old husband. The pipe was not found.

Such is the gist of a report in the Honolulu Star Bulletin on 6/19/08, Newswatch for Police, Fire, and Courts. The article “Pipe called weapon in attack on wife” does not explain whether the husband admitted the deed.

Certainly, this kind of violence, if it is true, should not be tolerated. But, perhaps the woman should consider herself lucky that the man did not own a gun. As the recent cases of murder-suicide in Hawaii point out, a gun can harm far more people than an alleged pipe in cases of infidelity.

But what if there was no pipe and there was no hitting. Perhaps, the woman was bruised when she was having sex with her coworker. In such a case, the allegation is the weapon that will do more harm to this man’s life than any gun could.

Having been arrested, he is likely to have lost his job. There will be a temporary restraining order granted to the woman. If there are kids involved, they will be removed from this man’s life. There will be no attempt to reconcile a faltering relationship to which both husband and wife committed themselves until death do they part. And, the prosecutors and divorce lawyers will make sure that the man is permanently ejected from his children’s lives while, at the same time, required to pay two-thirds of his calculated income or more in child support. If they send him to jail, he’ll be considered voluntarily unemployed and will still have to pay. The woman will be eligible for free counseling and services provided gratis by the state. The man, if he is lucky, will have a state defender appointed to walk him through the process and to admit his guilt so he can avoid more vigorous prosecution.

At this stage, the Police have not officially identified the wife as the victim, although the police reports will call her that. But, really, who is the victim?

Before you find yourself in this predicament, visit my web site at See how you can avoid making mistakes that will tear apart your marriage, your family, and your life.