Husband Jailed Over Allegation

A 23 year-old woman reported to Police that her husband had accused her of having an extramarital affair and hit her on the legs with “a pipe.” Police noted minor injuries and they promptly arrested her 25 year-old husband. The pipe was not found.

Such is the gist of a report in the Honolulu Star Bulletin on 6/19/08, Newswatch for Police, Fire, and Courts. The article “Pipe called weapon in attack on wife” does not explain whether the husband admitted the deed.

Certainly, this kind of violence, if it is true, should not be tolerated. But, perhaps the woman should consider herself lucky that the man did not own a gun. As the recent cases of murder-suicide in Hawaii point out, a gun can harm far more people than an alleged pipe in cases of infidelity.

But what if there was no pipe and there was no hitting. Perhaps, the woman was bruised when she was having sex with her coworker. In such a case, the allegation is the weapon that will do more harm to this man’s life than any gun could.

Having been arrested, he is likely to have lost his job. There will be a temporary restraining order granted to the woman. If there are kids involved, they will be removed from this man’s life. There will be no attempt to reconcile a faltering relationship to which both husband and wife committed themselves until death do they part. And, the prosecutors and divorce lawyers will make sure that the man is permanently ejected from his children’s lives while, at the same time, required to pay two-thirds of his calculated income or more in child support. If they send him to jail, he’ll be considered voluntarily unemployed and will still have to pay. The woman will be eligible for free counseling and services provided gratis by the state. The man, if he is lucky, will have a state defender appointed to walk him through the process and to admit his guilt so he can avoid more vigorous prosecution.

At this stage, the Police have not officially identified the wife as the victim, although the police reports will call her that. But, really, who is the victim?

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