Parental Alienation: Is it a Syndrome?

Bonnie Russell calls herself an expert on parental alienation. But it seems that having a discourse about ‘what parental alienation is or is not’ is out of bounds.

Follow our discussion on my story “Parental Alienation” the Phrase Women Love to Hate” posted on March 4, 2009.

Too bad we can’t even get to first base on this.

Our children need healing. Our families need to stop the divorce industry and open the family courts as the Constitution intended. Our country needs to recognize an epidemic backlash from single-parent and broken-parent homes.

Sure. One woman at a time get’s her revenge. But our society is suffering because their solution has created a problem far greater in scope.

Most fathers are like me. We want to be with our children.

Let’s stop the abuse.

Visit my web site at http://www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com/

“Parental Alienation” the Phrase Women Love to Hate

Google has a methodology to it’s search engines. Accumulate data, then see what the data says.

For too long, women’s victims’ advocates have been using phrases like 1 in 4 women will be victims of abuse in their lifetimes. Well. Maybe. But, women are as likely to commit domestic violence as men and the same statistic would hold true for men.

Parental Alienation is a term that describes what happens when one parent badmouths the child’s other parent during the course of a divorce and the child custody / visitation years that follow. Most people have PA moments when they can’t help but think of abusive situations and make derogatory a comment about them.

When our children are in the line of fire, in ear-shot of our comments, they are also being hit with these bullets. Cumulatively, the demeanor and honesty of the offending parent is going to impact upon the child.

An honest parent who encourages a relationship with the non-custodial parent is going to foster love and care in a way that goes beyond the cumulative effects of their honesty. A parent who cannot be honest, but chooses to be decietful to the child is going to have a long-term negative impact upon the child’s ability to form relationships with others.

Their target, the non-custodial parent, may be defeated in the courts. But the child will be defeated in life.

The number of children subjected to bouts of PA are increasing globally. And some educators, universities, even governments are starting to take note of the instances of divorce and its correlation to PA.

As the data accumulates, it is likely that we will see an increase in the number of PA influenced children who have difficulty with their own lives. Some will react through depression. Some through aggressiveness in all their relationships. And some, God help them, through acts of domestic violence that they learned from the alienating parent.

Whether or not PA is recognized as a syndrome, our children will suffer. And the data will accumulate.

One day, I hope, we may look at words like “sole custody,” “non-custodial parent,” and “visitation” as words of domestic abuse that demean our children and make their world an emptier place.

Perhaps, we will be able to Google it or look it up on Wikipedia.

To find out more about domestic violence, parental alienation, and abused children visit my web site at http://www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com/.

Due Process in Domestic Violence Cases

With all the hysteria about domestic violence, one hears over and over and–usually–begins to believe that 1 in 4 women will experience DV over their lifetime. With studies showing that women perpetrate DV as much as men, the same statistic should hold. 1 in 4 men will experience DV.  If that’s true, I calculate that I’ve saved eight other guys from taking the brunt of female perpetrated DV.

Doesn’t help me much. Except, I like to know that I’m helping.

When guys get involved in DV, the first they hear about it is likely to be from a Police Officer serving them with a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO).

A TRO has to be filed “Ex Parte” in the State of Hawaii. That means that the female goes down to the court, files papers and has the judge sign an order against you before you know what is happening.

Our U.S. Constitution, Article 14, Section 1, says that “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.  No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Here in Hawaii, the State Constitution reiterates this point under Article 1 Section 5, “No person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law, nor be denied the equal protection of the laws, nor be denied the enjoyment of the person’s civil rights or be discriminated against in the exercise thereof because of race, religion, sex or ancestry.”

Yet, in reality, you have these TRO’s that violate due process and social workers, psychologists, and  lawyers who file motions, statements, and directives against mostly-men who are only alleged to be perpetrators of domestic violence.

Women can speak out in public without fear or shame any more. It’s a badge of honor to have been a victim and a “SURVIVOR” of domestic violence. But men cannot speak of such things. With the biased media, men cannot have an equal say.

The Court Rules of Procedure may give an alleged abuser 5, 10, 15, 0r 30 days to respond to a filing against him. But the court allows the person making allegations (the accuser) a wide lattiude of time to inform the accused of the charges against him. A week can be forgiven. And the woman can take advantage of all the pro-bono services in their neighborhood.

Since most men are not eligible to answer allegation and, mostly, do not have the means to file a response or even know that a response needs to be filed; we get caught in the Due Process Dilemma.

“Did they follow the due process rules? Wait! Don’t we need a lawyer to tell us that? I can’t afford a lawyer. Aw hell. I’ll go in there and do my best as a Father, ex-spouse and human being. How bad could it be?”

Once that phone call to 911 is made, whether you knew about it or not, your wife (or ex) will have every resource to punish you in clear violation of your Constitutional Rights.

If she is intelligent and hateful, that punishment may go on for years.

To find our more, visit my web site at http://www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com/.