Archive for September, 2009

A Successful Single Mom

September 29, 2009

I’ve been a long-time supporter of Glenn Sacks and, since he has joined with the Father’s and Families movement, I appreciate his perspective all the more. But there is never a moment more worthy of repeating when a single, divorced mother manages to make her voice heard–not to you and me, but to her children–that we parents are fallible.

Glenn asks Kimberly Roberts to write of her trials and her success when the custodial mother believes that shared parenting is good for children, and good for women.

Please take the time to read “Successful Shared Parenting—A Divorced Mother’s Perspective September 28th, 2009 by Glenn Sacks, MA, Executive Director.”

Then visit my web site for a father’s refresher about how to protect yourself when women cannot accept Ms. Roberts perspective.


Birthday Gifts from an absentee Father

September 21, 2009

I did not choose to be away from you today. I have done my best to be closer to you.

I hope the books are appropriate. I hope they have arrived on time. Miss you! Love Dad.

Monforto’s Bear Hug Encore

September 18, 2009

I can’t tell you how much I believe Steve Monforto deserves the nomination “Father of the Year.”

You need to google this or look it up on You Tube out takes. Steve Monforto, Emily, 3-year-old, foul ball, catch of a life-time. These are some of the keywords you can use to look this up. Or try this link.

Steve is a season ticket holder. He went to a game with his wife and two kids. She had the younger. Steve had Emily. Steve is caught on tape, leaning over the railing and catching his first foul ball ever. He high-fives friends and instinctively gives the ball to his daughter.

She makes the throw of the century over the railing.

Steve and the crowd gasp. Steve throws up his arms in surprise and in a fraction of a second realizes what his daughter did is everything that he had ever taught her to do.

Emily, scared and confused at the enormously audible crowd reaches for Dad. Dad responds with the most adorable Father / Daughter hug of this Century!

He later states, “I didn’t want her to think she did anything wrong.”

As one commentator says, “This is a once in a lifetime…” STOP!!!. You can tell this commentator does not have children. This is all of us–everyday DADs. That is why it is important to nominate Steve Monforto as Dad of the Year!

No matter what you do or say, you can’t stop us loving our children. Visit me at

What Dad’s are Made Of?

September 17, 2009

The Major League Baseball has all Dad’s bragging rights today. Steve Monforto, a Phillies fan, caught his first foul ball and after high-fiving his friends, gave that baseball to his 3-year-old daughter, Emily, the one he’s been playing catch with for years.

Emily is a natural. She throws the ball back into the game, much to Dad’s surprise. And as the crowd collectively gasps, Emily cowers thinking that she made a mistake. But Steve is no ordinary Dad. He is a major league hero. He chuckles and comforts his daughter assuring her that she did nothing wrong.

This scene–played out on Yahoo, YouTube, and millions of times today–is the everyday Dad in all of us. It is resonating with all Dad’s as the quintessential moment that we live for.

–And the video appears to have been pulled from the web at the moment. Hmm.–

Excellent parenting, Steve. Don’t be modest. Give the Today show it’s best show on Fathers.

Annanova, however, has a different story about men’s morals. We all like to look at pretty women and we know that looking is free. But when this buck-naked woman came barging onto a construction site in Vienna, Austria, shouting “WHO WANTS ME!!!”, the gentleman laborers onsite had the wherewithal to step aside and hide till the police arrived.

“The woman was detained and was put under a doctor’s care,” said the article. Maybe she needed a hug from her father?

This Huntsville, Alabama boy, Boy faked kidnapping to cover for bad report,” however, must have had another motive for ditching his schoolbag and making up a story about being abducted.

When children can’t get attention from their parent’s in the way Steve knows how to give it, you can bet they will try other means. Their primary motive is to belong, just like you and me want to belong to a family, to friends, to a club, to an occupation. It’s pretty simple when we parents have the tools we need.

I hope the parents of this 11-year-old boy get it.

It seems to have been a life experience this Hofstra student never had. Why would a woman recant a gang rape allegation? Why did she make the allegations in the first place? Four men went to jail based upon what she later testified was consensual sex.

Did she get a conscience? Or maybe she remembered something similar that happened to her own Dad? I find it surprising that a criminal investigation has been launched into the statements and reports given by the woman. As a society, have we ever recognized that these types of lies by women destroy men? This would be an interesting case to follow-up on. But, I’m not holding my breath.

I would like to know if Hawaii Advertiser’s, Three pre-teen girls arrested in Kalihi after iPod is reported stolen, gets the courts to consider that females mature earlier than men and their crimes against others should be considered crimes against society at an earlier age than boys.

While the girls were arrested on suspicion of felony theft and the iPod was recovered and returned, one has to wonder if they ever received a hug like Steve could give his daughter.

Then, one has to wonder what it is about women that make men so emotionally unstable. Today’s Advertiser also reports that a “Makiki woman reports finger was bitten off during argument.”

I have had some really good chicken wings that have been spicy right down to the cartilage, but I can’t imagine what marinade was in this Makiki lady’s cocktail. It just doesn’t seem as appetizing.

Then there are those women who choose an illicit marinade for so many years that they find themselves backed into a corner, “Pahoa woman who drove at officers sentenced to 15 years.

Rina Shimizu, 29, pleaded guilty to charges of promoting dangerous drugs and first-degree assault on a police officer. “You put people at risk,” Circuit Judge Glenn Hara told Shimizu yesterday. “I believe that a danger to the community exists as long as you are in the community.”

Public Defender Melody Parker noted that Shimizu needs extensive drug treatment. She realized that she panicked when she drove through the roadblock and clipped Fernandez [the police officer]. She said police did not need to draw their guns and fire into Shimizu’s car. Parker said that Shimizu’s first brush with the criminal justice system happened at age 11, she has only an eighth-grade education, and she deserves “an opportunity to free herself from this ball and chain of drugs that have been the hallmark of her existence.”

Prosecutor Skier said “I have no problem with the defendant getting drug treatment while she’s in prison.” Judge Hara noted during sentencing that Shimizu’s mother and sister are both incarcerated and asked “Miss Shimizu, when does the light come on?”

Still, we have our Hawaii trained police force, the highest caliber of individuals in the nation, to respect. Right? Which makes me wonder why Honolulu Advertiser even prints some stuff.

Kauai woman died of overdose” is a story of a mentally unstable woman, Lauren Kagawa, who had multiple prescribed medications and a whole lot of alcohol in her system before she was found outside her apartment on August 17.

From tragedy, the Honolulu Advertiser is looking for excuses. “Initially, police said they suspected foul play in the death of Kagawa. Less than a month before her death, Kagawa had filed for a temporary restraining order against her ex-boyfriend, a former Kauai police officer.”

HA does not say whether the TRO was granted. Since our Family Courts give these out like candy and TRO hearings are held within two weeks, either the hearing was not held (not likely) or the Judge found no grounds to continue. Why does HA have to take a swipe at an innocent man and our police officers in general without disclosing all the facts.

Lauren, Rina, Lunalilo Street woman, the Kalihi pre-teen girls, the Hofstra consensual sex woman; If any one of them had known of the comfort and reassurance a Father’s hug could have given them in their moment of angst, Steve would just be any other guy. But today, he is a hero for all fathers.

Find out more about being the hero father you can be. Visit my web site at Thanks, Steve!

Hawaii Mother Starves Her Family

September 16, 2009

Jim Dooley is one Honolulu Advertiser reporter that can be trusted to report the basic facts about domestic violence and family abuse. In his recent article “Hawaii mother accused of starving daughter, 12, takes witness stand,” Dooley made the case plain and simple.

Denise Wright is on trial for starving her child, causing brain damage from mal-nourishment and, according to pediatrician and child abuse expert, Dr. Victoria Schneider, had the child near death when she finally arrived at Kapiolani Medical center. The 12-year-old girl weighed only 29 pounds.

Ms. “Wright described growing up in a South Carolina home where she saw her stepfather violently abusive to her mother and said when she married Melvin Wright Jr. she “backed down” to his wishes.”

She blamed her husband, a U.S. Marine veteran for “having affairs on me and staying out all night.” Melvin required Indigo to be schooled at home and Mainland relatives were responsible to provide books and learning materials.

“Asked by her lawyer, Debra Loy, if she knew that the state imposed educational standards on home schooling, Wright said, “No, I did not.””

Ignorance of the law is a bad defense for a speeding ticket.

Ignorance of life is a bad defense, plain and simple.

I don’t doubt that Ms. Wright could have done this on her own. Perhaps, Mr. Wright enforced austerity in their household. But we are not a society of Taliban. And we are not a society that condones infanticide.

We are, however, a society that gives women a voice and helps them to tear apart their own families after trials such as these.

Let them spend their time apart for the crimes they have done. But give them the opportunity to heal their family.

Whether guilty, innocent, or acquitted, Ms. Wright has a great responsibility to reunite her family. She would do well to stop accusing others.

To find out more about how families are torn apart in our Family Courts, visit my web site at

Big Island Police Open Murder Investigation

September 13, 2009

You have to wonder what it is that the Honolulu Advertiser is hiding. An article attributed to Advertiser Staff, “Body discovered near truck on Big Island identified as missing man” simply reports that the man died from brain injury due to a skull fracture. Did he fall?

So, you have to check out the Star Bulletin article by Rob Shikina, Big Island death is investigated as a murder” to find out what is most likely to have happened.

Death in paradise is never pretty. But, why does it take two newspapers to show the heroic effort a father made to protect his children?

The Advertiser simply notes that Jason “Adams was granted a temporary restraining order against his estranged wife, Sarah Iverson” and he was “last seen driving to Hilo in his 2000 silver Nissan Frontier pickup truck.”

Note: Sarah has also been known as Sarah Iversen and Sarah Pennington. (Update 20110529.)

The Star Bulletin fills in the missing pieces.

* “Adams’ body was found Wednesday in thick vegetation about 100 feet down a steep gulch.”
* [T]he condition of Adams’ body led investigators to believe foul play may have been involved.”
* His father said “Adams was trying to get divorced from ..Iverson and to keep custody of their 5-year-old son, McKinley.”
* “Adams …came to Hawaii about five years ago, following ..Iverson, who left with McKinley.”

So, let’s put the pieces together. The child is abducted by the mother. The father follows the mother to Hawaii to stay in touch with his son. A Big Island judge granted a temporary restraining order against Iverson. The girlfriend suspects he had been set up.

The obvious questions are, has the Hawaiian Family Court system, once again, sanctioned child abduction by a mother? Has the Family Court system, once again, alienated more than one parent from a child? And, Has the Hawaiian Court system, once again, made victim an innocent five-year old child?

I suspect the answers to these questions will not be convenient for the Hawaiian Family Court system or the women’s advocacy groups who claim domestic violence is their privilege to victimization.

In this case, there’s a smoking gun, a body, and a five year-old boy who will be messed up for the rest of his life.

It happens too often in this state. But families can heal long before tragedy takes the life of your child. Visit my web site, to find out more.

Polyandry and Husband Shopping

September 11, 2009

Dear Editor NY Times:

I am deeply offended by the September 1, 2009 Basics article “Skipping Spouse to Spouse Isn’t Just a Man’s Game” By Natalie Angier.

Ms. Angier starts off with several false concepts that men fare better than women after divorce, that divorced men are unfettered (and thereby uncaring) towards their children, and that a divorced man will get a new and younger wife to make more babies.

Ms. Angier is engaging in misandristic male bashing of the worst kind.

Men in America are pushed out of our children’s lives by a failed model of sole custody that gives mothers power and control over fathers and guarantees a stream of revenues into State coffers. We pay 100% child support over 80% of the time. When we don’t, it is mostly because we are living in poverty with wages that are garnished far in excess of our income and the minimum standards of living.

In America, men are jailed for owing back child support; the last debtors prison.

There is nothing redeeming about Ms. Angier’s attitude towards men or her support for Pimbwe women. Ms. Angier does not need to look outside our borders for the polyandry she describes. Women in America shop for new husbands far more frequently than she is willing to admit.

Shame on you for publishing this hateful piece.

Larry Holbrook
Honolulu, HI 96816

Bill 62’s 3 foot rule is a good idea

September 3, 2009

Dear Council Members,

I am an avid cyclist averaging 80 to 100 miles per week on Honolulu roads. This year, I have traveled over 2,100 miles. I completed my fourth Metric Century Ride and will be participating in my fifth Century Ride at the end of September 2009.

I am familiar with roads and trails from Ewa to Makapu’u to Haleiwa. My constant observation of the roadways on Oahu is that there are too many distracted drivers and too few bicycle lanes.

I was nearly run down today in Portlock by a driver in a rush.

Bill 62 (2009) is not enough to protect all cyclists such as the young sailor who was dragged underneath the truck of a sleeping driver outside Kualoa Ranch or the North Shore mother who was thrown from her bicycle while her two children in a bicycle trailer were dragged over 60 yards.

But it should help on most of Oahu roads where there is less than six inches of gutter lane such as most of Pali Highway, Kalanianaole in Waimanalo, and Farrington Highway near Waipahu Depot Road.

For a state in which 80 to 90 % of its population is concentrated from Koko Head to Fort Weaver Road, it is shameful that we do not have more cyclists. In my opinion, it is the fear of getting on the road that makes Hawaiian’s think twice about saddling up to visit a neighbor, go to work, or go shopping.

Bill 62 (2009) is not perfect, but it will help.

I hope your council has the courage to pass this bill and maybe take a ride, too.

Thank you,

Larry Holbrook
Kaimuki, HI