“Parental Alienation” the Phrase Women Love to Hate

Google has a methodology to it’s search engines. Accumulate data, then see what the data says.

For too long, women’s victims’ advocates have been using phrases like 1 in 4 women will be victims of abuse in their lifetimes. Well. Maybe. But, women are as likely to commit domestic violence as men and the same statistic would hold true for men.

Parental Alienation is a term that describes what happens when one parent badmouths the child’s other parent during the course of a divorce and the child custody / visitation years that follow. Most people have PA moments when they can’t help but think of abusive situations and make derogatory a comment about them.

When our children are in the line of fire, in ear-shot of our comments, they are also being hit with these bullets. Cumulatively, the demeanor and honesty of the offending parent is going to impact upon the child.

An honest parent who encourages a relationship with the non-custodial parent is going to foster love and care in a way that goes beyond the cumulative effects of their honesty. A parent who cannot be honest, but chooses to be decietful to the child is going to have a long-term negative impact upon the child’s ability to form relationships with others.

Their target, the non-custodial parent, may be defeated in the courts. But the child will be defeated in life.

The number of children subjected to bouts of PA are increasing globally. And some educators, universities, even governments are starting to take note of the instances of divorce and its correlation to PA.

As the data accumulates, it is likely that we will see an increase in the number of PA influenced children who have difficulty with their own lives. Some will react through depression. Some through aggressiveness in all their relationships. And some, God help them, through acts of domestic violence that they learned from the alienating parent.

Whether or not PA is recognized as a syndrome, our children will suffer. And the data will accumulate.

One day, I hope, we may look at words like “sole custody,” “non-custodial parent,” and “visitation” as words of domestic abuse that demean our children and make their world an emptier place.

Perhaps, we will be able to Google it or look it up on Wikipedia.

To find out more about domestic violence, parental alienation, and abused children visit my web site at http://www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com/.

9 Responses to ““Parental Alienation” the Phrase Women Love to Hate”

  1. Bonnie Russell Says:

    Bonnie Russell here; parental alienation expert. I want to thank you for writing “Parental Alienation – the phrase women love to hate” as it reveals you to be someone who doesn’t mind writing without facts.

    Have been interviewed about parental alienation for a long, long time.

    http://www.divorce360.com/divorce-articles/after-divorce/parenting/using-your-kid-against-your-ex.aspx?artid=593

    Ca: Parental Alienation Awareness Day

    I would like to remind people the best examples of parental alienation is demonstrated with kidnap cases, such as Elizabeth Smart and young Mr. Hornbeck. Been interviewed about their reluctance to return to their family immediately upon being rescued.

    The problem being, what teenager will admit to being brainwashed. So when it happens in the home, they are less suspecting.

    However, I want to thank you even more for hilariously proving facts are not something you spend any time collecting. This was clearly evident when you offered:

    “But, women are as likely to commit domestic violence as men.”

    This is exactly why fathers rights groups aren’t credible.

    See parents killing their kids: at http://www.FamilyLawCourts.com.

    And lets not forget including misogyny in law enforcement.
    See http://www.FamilyLawCourts.com/badcop.html
    specifically in LA,: http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1052440734466
    and
    http://www.laweekly.com/2003-06-12/news/life-of-a-whistleblower/

    Stats on Domestic Violence: at http://www.FamilyLawCourts.com/domestic.html

    Bloggers aren’t known for accuracy. But haters will blog anything, as you’ve proven.

    • penumbrook Says:

      I’m not hating anyone. I just want to see my kids.

      Your ridicule misses the point. PA happens too often. My kids live with their abuser. It is a tragedy and it deserves more respect than you have given it.

  2. Move Away Cases - Move Away Madness in Child Custody Proceedings | Win Custody of your Child! Says:

    […] “Parental Alienation” the Phrase Women Love to Hate « Penumbrook’s … […]

    From Penumbrook: Generally and in keeping with good journalistic ethics, I have a policy of allowing all comments except where profane or vulgar language is used. I also have a policy of deleting spam, but I make an exception for this one. The link is to an advertisement about information that can help non-custodial parents in child support negotiations.

    The linked article: “Move Away Cases – Move Away Madness in Child Custody Proceedings” is informative and gender neutral.

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  3. Bonnie Russell Says:

    Address misogyny is not ridicule…but it’s ridiculous for you state that.

    Misogyny is wholly unaddressed in the courts, and legislative bodies. Or that Congress approved in a voice vote….custody arrangements it KNEW would put children in harms way…and did so by stating the new measure was as an EXCEPTION to “The Best Interests of the Child.”

    Having spent a number of hours educating media about parental alienation, and in that I was the first to suspect, investigate, confirm and publish Dr. Richard Gardner’s suicide, I want to thank you for again pointing out, how ridiculous you sound when you have the audacity to write I should give parental alienation more “respect.”

    • penumbrook Says:

      So, misogyny is not addressed in the courts. Neither is misandry. I think we both agree there is a problem. The closed family court system is faulted against families.

      Whatever expertise you have, you seem to have missed the crux of the domestic violence issue. Badmouthing and alienating a parent is abuse. Whether or not it is a syndrome is irrelevant. It can have long term impacts on a child’s ability to form relationships for the rest of their lives.

      My ex is both a victim and a perpetrator of this.

      I have six sisters. I know where domestic violence starts. Conflict occurs anytime two people engage. Resolving that conflict with dignity and respect can avoid an escalation.

      Your words are not resolving anything. I feel that you are escalating. That would be violence in its initial stage.

      That makes me feel that you don’t understand PA at all.

      Audacity? Perhaps, but it comes from real life experience.

      Will you continue to abuse me, will you agree to disagree and move on, or can we engage in a discussion that gets at the root of the problems our children are experiencing?

      Your move.

  4. Bonnie Russell Says:

    No thanks. You are beginning to creep me out with your wild accusations and insulting behavior. Kinda reminds me of the deliberately obtuse guy in New Hampshire. Dickinson. He made the front pages of his local paper. So rock on with your ridiculousness. Alone.

    • penumbrook Says:

      That’s how my ex used to end arguments. Seems there’s no room for common sense for some people.

      Hey everyone, it takes two to tango. Bonnie could have tried to define parental alienation so that we could at least begin a discourse about the same topic. Instead, she engaged in a confrontational, insulting pattern of behavior that is common to most abusers and bigots.

      When these type of people grow up, we can begin to have a discourse about how to save the American family and democracy itself. Until then, most men and many unfortunate women will be the butt of their jokes. Our children will lose the most.

      In my view, our planet does not have time to lose another generation. That’s why I want to see my kids.

  5. Bonnie Russell Says:

    Thank you for demonstrating you’re illiterate. I defined PA at http://www.FamilyLawCourts.com However, I have no interest with discoursing with someone such as yourself, who name calls. I understand why your wife ran with the kids. In your writings with me alone, you’ve demonstrated your ability to call names, be insulting while wrongfully casting yourself as the victim. This is why no one in their mind would ave a discourse with you. You’re a bully, disguised as a professional victim.

    • penumbrook Says:

      I’m not a “victim.” I am a target. My kids are the victims.

      I just want to see my kids.

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