For this parent, the message “I will be blocking your email address after I have sent this message” is bitter-sweet. Dueling parents often never want to talk to their prior significant-other again in their life (the sweet), but, each is the other parent (the bitter).
Even in the most acrimonious child-custody situations, parents need to contact each other regularly. Weekly messages to let the other know of events at which a non-custodial parent may be reunited with his kids are not, in my opinion, excess contact or harassment.
Terminating visitation of siblings at different times does not make the case that the non-custodial parent is “pitting them against each other” or “showing blatant favoritism.” When the termination is based upon false allegations, the non-custodial parent is not at fault.
However, such family destroying thoughts usually originate in the mind of the abuser. Statements, written or verbal, can be twisted in such a way that an uninterested party hearing the complaints might believe the complainer has been abused. Often the complainer relies on the omission of facts to create the appearance of abuse against them. And that is the strategy. It is the strategy of an abuser.
“Since being away from you I’m not questioning reality anymore.”
Reality–oh that! Yes, I find it frustrating to often have to apply “common sense” to figure out reality sometimes.
Aren’t we all glad that our exes are happy that they are not confined to logic or reason? It makes reality so much simpler; so, black and white.
“[T]here are plenty of third parties who verify that what I see is real.” The company one keeps can shed light on “reality” as they see it; Astrid Heger, Richard Ducote and Barry Goldstein are good for anyone’s ego if they believe that fathers are bad for children.
“You have proven yourself to be a threat to the kids,” said my ex. What she referred to was the limited “preponderance of evidence” standard that the Family Court accepts. What is unusual is that Hawaii Family Courts routinely interpret a preponderance of (false) allegations as evidence. (See case FC-UCCJEA No. 03-1-0011 and ICA No. 28563 in the State of Hawaii, First Circuit.)
The standard of proof to which an abuser alludes is often far short of actual fact. That is why this author’s case is on appeal.
The possibility of fulfilling a court order that requires a father, a) subjected to a decade of false allegations, b) to retain a psychologist, c) who must confer with two other child psychologists, d) against Federal HIPPA client confidentiality standards, then e) obtain a consensus–that must be submitted to the court–that the father is worthy to be a parent to his children, are slim. Actually, the chance is non-existent. And the abuser knows this.
So, this Father remains without visitation with his children. The children’s mother has expunged herself of responsibility. And, she has blocked email communication.
It is at moments like this that I think what a close call it was that my ex was not the infamous name associated with the acts of Andrea Yates. I knew her for nearly ten years during our marriage. She has terminated the love of a father for his children.
I shudder to think what horrors my children dream in their sleep.
In Sum
Marie Moore, a daughter’s playmate, women’s public flogging, underclass fathers, commercially targeted boys, child-support abuse, and email blocking all have one thing in common. It is a distrust and disrespect for a fellow human being.
In each case, the lack of trust and disrespect for another human being has led to tragic consequences.
Common sense would put the brakes on societal madness. But the perpetrators have a common thread; they are unable to see outside themselves. They cause pain because they distrust and disrespect other human beings.
Follow the Parent’s Sorrows short stories please:
http://www.mywiferanoffwithourkids.com/