We laugh at the movie scene where, faced with insurmountable odds, the hero does the unpredictable. He runs away. Invariably, the hero is a male and we seem to find the situation “funny” because the character has no honor for justice. The hero is quickly denigrated as a coward with only the desire to survive. While we may shame the smarter man for running away, the “hero” who stands never lives to see his children grow.
For the majority of our servicemen today, the odds are in their favor (physically). Every day, tens (maybe hundreds) of thousands of men and women stand to protect our American way of life; freedom, liberty, happiness, etc. In some eras, such as the post-Nixon years, our servicemen were simply not deployed. Today, deployment is a given. A soldier has no choice. “Mine is not to question “Why?”. Mine is but to do, or die.”
Yet the odds of sacrificing one’s life in our modern military are not what they used to be. Many servicemen and women put their lives in the line of fire, and many more choose an MOS and step out of the line of fire, both–only–to be embroiled in family court matters that consume them in dollars and emotion for years, decades, and lifetimes after their active service is done.
The insurmountable odds, like the Greek Hydra, face those who do survive. Can you maintain a marriage at 12,000 miles? Can you parent one, two, three or more children? Can you weather false allegations of domestic violence? Will your children actually turn against you and drop the nuclear bomb of family dissolution; sexual abuse? No one today is adequately investigating these scenarios and no one is tracking the increased incidences of domestic violence based upon false allegations.
For those of us who served, did we serve in a war? Was there an enemy? Did we accomplish something? If we are successful at deterring attacks, the questions plague us. If we are not successful, political fingers point in every direction. We have lost.
Before the cold war was ended, but after it was over, your Dad served his country. For every paper target, the image of a man was a man. Mine was not to question why. The odds were in my favor more than our soldiers have today. I served my country while it was not at war. I consider myself lucky. But I became a victim of false allegations and my children were separated from me. The hostile intentions of a hundred countries and a thousand fanatics could not have done as much harm as the dissolution of our marriage and the separation from my children.
I did not serve in war, but the battle rages against me, and my children suffer the wounds.