Archive for April, 2010

Stage 4

April 28, 2010

When a cancer patient enters stage 4, there are few medical miracles left for them to rely upon. They get blasted with chemicals and radiation and, basically, pray for the best. More and more, these days, we hear from stage 4 survivors, such as the New York Times article from Katherine Russell Rich, posted on 4/26/2010.

Such is the case for Dads who would have been parents. Except that the chorus is not there. There’s no support from other men that we, too, have survived a devastating blow to our physical and mental well-being. Instead, were we to search, you might find men who were once dads full of hope and wonder, who are now empty shells. Some have found new families with whom they share the riches of parenting and familial ties. Others find themselves on the street or working endless construction jobs till their fingers are worn to the bone and they don’t qualify for social security.

I have the stage 4 cancer of divorcees; the ex-wife who will prevent contact with my children at all costs. I could easily become silent in my stage 4. But, I want to say what we all feel. Everyday, in every way, we think, wonder, and care for our children. My daughter is a vibrant youth. They send me questionairres asking about her. My son is my potential heir. My hope is a weakness and a strength. I believe in them both.

I respect a survivor who has survived against the odds. I respect all fathers, silent though they may be, who still live, who still think about and who still care for their children.

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